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05.27.10 (12:46 pm)   [edit]
I really wish James Yerian would come back. It has been a long, long time since I've been able to comment on his cut'n'paste blog posts. Please, Jimmy, come back. Do it for the children.

Reducto Still Can't Read
01.03.06 (4:39 pm)   [edit]
I'm glad to see I can still piss James "Jumbo" Yerian off so much. I can imagine his poor mother was worried when she heard the rumblings coming from the basement where her adult son STILL lives.

Jumbo managed to prove my point - that he can't read - in a beautifully articulated masterpiece of idiocy he posted today. Oh, by the way, what kind of job do you not have that allows you to troll the internet from 1:30 to 4:40 on a Tuesday afternoon? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Let's look at a few things Jumbo said, then make fun of them:

1) "Well, I guess I should say first that I didn't write it. This is an excerpt, which is clear to anyone sober enough to read it."

Well no shit, Jumbo? Here I could swear I said something exactly along the lines of "If Jumbo, or you, actually reads the quote he posted," which to anyone sober enough to read would likely mean that you posted a QUOTE. Christ you're stupid.

2) What's interesting, Jumbo, is that the link in your original blog in fact points to a commentary on PowerLine Blog called "Do You Believe In Magic?" and the link within that article points to a Washington Post article called "Pushing The Limits of Wartime Powers." What the fuck are you talking about again?

3) "...the implication in the excerpt is that Jimmy Cahtah not only thought this was swell (why else would he be talking about it in GQ), but did authorize it."

Jumbo, having that mail-order degree in poetry ought to have at least taught you that inference is the same as reading things in. Show me where in the article it says that Jimmy Carter "thought this was swell" or authorized it. Please. Did you ever take a second to consider that he was offering it as an anecdote, or do you not know that word?

4) I like how you didn't bother to make any mention of how Reagan turned the nation over to his wife and a crack whore Gypsy psychic for a few years. Did you forget about that around the same time you forgot about Iran/Contra?

5) Yes, Jumbo, you *attended* WVU but you didn't earn a degree, did you? Busted. You also attended a now-defunct suck shit poetry program at a branch campus of the University of Missouri. Gotcha.

6) You're fat.

I rest my case. Can't you please try a little harder next time? I'll say hi next time I'm in Wal-Mart and need help reaching that last carton of Tab.

Suck it,


Happy New Year and Free Candy
01.02.06 (10:30 pm)   [edit]

In celebration of the coming of 2006 without a catestrophic collapse of our nation due to Dubbya's enlightened stewardship, I'm providing Free Candy* to anyone who reads this blog.

Here goes:


James Yerian

Free Candy

This time of year reminds me of lightning bugs
with their yellow-bellied buzzing,
of green 7-UP bottles.

It was on a hill like this one
that we would fly,
rising in our seats and catching air,
and feel the roller coaster.
Mom had a funny name for this, but I can’t remember it.

I remember dad breaking into
his office on the weekend to steal
from the vending machines.

We could pick our flavors,
Crush, 7-UP, sometimes A&W,
we could pick what we wanted.

And how we ate too!
The four of us kicking each other in the Chevy,
on dirty-blue vinyl, with
our dirty black feet, eating free candy.

Mom and dad never fought louder than our joy.

Oh how can I explain anything to you,
but that dad got mom a shower cap for Christmas, and she got him a


Shitty poetry, huh? That's brought to you by none other than Reducto.

Have a happy new year and pray to something that things get better.



* No, fool, you don't get real free candy! You get shitty poetry by James "Jumbo" Yerian, aka Reducto, instead. Deal with it.

Reducto Can't Read (among other things)
01.02.06 (10:24 pm)   [edit]
Reducto, aka James "Jumbo" Yerian, is my favorite idiot to make fun of. Unfortunately, it's way too easy. Jumbo just walks right into the most blatantly idiotic of situations, mostly due to his own stupidity, and then tries to dig himself out. That's where the real enjoyment comes in.

Anyhow, I'd like to point out to Jumbo that he clearly didn't read a thing in the source material he latest blog is based on. This happened before, several times. Hey, Jumbo, remember that time you forgave Gary Larson for being a communist but then found out you didn't read the article you cited and then deleted the blog? Yeah, I thought you did.

I digress. In Jumbo's latest blog he writes some shit about not having Democrats as presidents. No surprise there. He rationalizes this with some nonsense about Jimmy Carter and a psychic, since he's incapable of coming up with any meaningful reasons. There are a few problems with this blog: first, the link provided doesn't link back to the original article so I suspect Jumbo didn't read it; second, Jumbo reads some shit into the article that isn't there. Another big surprise.

If Jumbo, or you, actually reads the quote he posted, you'll notice that the then-director of the CIA came up with the idea to use a psychic, not Carter. Sort of fucks up Jumbo's argument. For having some variety of mail-order degree in poetry from a defunct university*, you'd think Jumbo would be able to read a little better than that.

Oh, and Jumbo, remember when Ronald Reagan turned the country over to his wife and a psychic for about four years? Yeah, that's hot.

Jumbo, are you still stacking cartons of Tab at Wal-Mart, or have you moved out of your parents' basement and on to greater things?

Kiss my ass,


* This is an amusing FACT.

James/Reducto, It's time to throw in the towel
11.17.05 (4:32 pm)   [edit]
I admire James/Reducto for his ability to defend even the undefensible. George Dubbya could be convicted of raping a 12 year old Thai prostitute whilst snorting lines of Colombia's finest and James would STILL declare him the Righteous and Glorious appointee of Jesus Christ on earth. Fascinating.

James, it takes more balls and more humility to admit when you're wrong than it does to keep spouting the same stale shit every day. Let me point out a few details that you frankly can't bullshit away:

1. Republican governor of Ohio Bob Taft has a FIFTEEN PERCENT approval rating. Among Republicans who *voted* for him he has a NINETEEN PERCENT approval rating. Christ, even Tricky Dick Nixon was at 24% the day he disgraced the presidency and resigned. How the hell do you explain that one away?

2. George Dubbya has THIRTY SEVEN PERCENT approval rating. That means the vast majority of Americans don't like what he is doing. You are the one who says referenda are the way to do things (e.g. same-sex marriage bans) and the nation's citizens DO NOT LIKE what Dubbya is doing. How do you bullshit that fact away?

James, it's time to pack up shop and try another line. The Republicans in this country have royally fucked up and most everyone knows it. They have taken arrogance, deceit, greed and corruption to an altogether new level. Even you can see this as much as you don't want to.

We've got a governor in Ohio who pled guilty to four crimes. His best buddy STOLE $12 million off the state. Five of our seven supreme court justices in Ohio have recused themselves of the case because he financed their campaigns. The BWC lost over $200 million in statutorily illegal investments. The federal Department of Justice has the same asshole (Tom Noe, in case you forgot) under indictment for completely unrelated federal crimes.


Grow a spine, get some humility, rejoin sanity and admit, for ONE TIME, that maybe you are wrong. It's the stronger man who can admit fault rather than making up excuses for everything. You can't defend this shit, yet you keep spewing the same old, tired, worn-out lines day in and day out. Give it up and admit that you were wrong.

By the way, how's Wal-Mart treating you?


Jimmy the Righteous

P.S. I notice I finally ran you buddy Noguru away. Talked to him lately?

A History Lesson for Jumbo/Reducto: Filibusters
04.25.05 (9:53 pm)   [edit]


You have a knack for exposing just how little you understand our government, any government or reality at all.  I'll illustrate an example for you from one of your latest blogs, found here: http://www.tblog.com/templates/index.php?bid=reducto&static=448204

Let's look at this quote, a nugget of wisdom you apparently pulled directly out of your generously-sized ass:  "I guess it might help to point out the the filibuster is an archaic parliamentary procedure brought over from England meant to allow more time to debate...."

Um, Jumbo, you're wrong.  Imagine that.

It is generally accepted that the first filibuster in U.S. Senate history was used by South Carolina Senator John C. Calhoun in 1841.

Now, I don't know about you, but 1841 seems a little far removed from the archaic days of the English parliament.  If you take just a few seconds to use that magical thing called Google to look up the history of filibusters, you'll notice that the name didn't arise until  the early 19th century and is taken from the name of Spanish and Portuguese pirates, "filibusteros", who held ships hostage for ransom.  As for its American history, the concept wasn't even recognized until 1806, when then-vice president Aaron Burr acknowledged an oversight permitting unlimited debate debate in the Senate.  Even then the concept of a filibuster as a measure to block a bill didn't exist, only the realization that such an even could occur.

So, is the filibuster something brought brom England?  No.  It was a mistake in the constitution, or rather something never considered as an option when the constitution was written and never put to use until 1841.

Get your history right, Jumbo.  What next, Gary Larson is writing for the Republicans again, or maybe Bill Clinton personally sold nuclear weapons to China in 1968?  Better  yet, maybe you'll explain to us how you left tblog, but didn't leave, but came back, but didn't because you never left.

God Bless Cheetos,


Noguru: Why Michael Moore Isn't Involved with the Schaivo Case
04.04.05 (10:21 pm)   [edit]

I hope things are treating you well in Quebec, the last bastion of *real* communism in the Western hemisphere. Mind you, I'm only basing that statement on your most recent blog.

Anyhow, you wonder why Michael Moore hasn't said anything about the Schaivo case. Let me tell you why...

Because it's none of his business and he knows it. Surprise, surprise, it's none of your business, either, and you know it.

Do you have any say in the affairs of Mrs. Schaivo and her family? No, you don't. Does Governor Bush, or President Bush or the US Senate or the US House of Representatives? No, they don't.

This is a matter between a husband and his wife. Whether you like it or not, the law in Florida and most other states specifies that a spouse takes precedent over family or the president or anyone else in making decisons. THAT IS THE LAW. Of course, conservatives will cry that it's not fair but aren't they the ones always bitching about the law not being upheld?

It's curious that Republicans and conservatives used to believe in keeping government completely out of private citizens' lives until that became and obstacle to their agenda. Now Republicans and conservatives insist that government be involved in private lives regarding abortion, marriage and death (not to mention taxation, education, backdoor drafts and sex education).

My favorite example of Republican hypocrisy is this: Judges who have ruled bans on same-sex marriage unconstitutional are called "activist" and out of control, state legislatures that approve same-sex marriages are called "out of touch" and beyond their jurisdiction. Conservatives say that the people, through referenda, should make such decisions. Then pray do tell why it is that the federal government, under Dubbya's leadership, is trying to reverse Oregon's TWO successful state-wide referenda permitting physician-assisted suicide? Wait, isn't the referendum the preferred choice for conservatives to determine state policy? Could it be that conservatives will argue against any possible legal venue if it counters their argument, despite the contradiction to previous position? Yes, that is precisely the case.

The nation has witnessed extremist conservatives trying to usurp the rule of law by crafting legislation in the US House of Representatives taking juristiction out of the hands of state courts and putting it into the realm of federal courts - a clear violation of the separation of powers spelled out in the constitution. This is precisely what has happened during the Schiavo case. Although the case is clearly a state matter according to the constitution, reactionary extremist Republicans have stripped state courts of their jurisdiction. Now extremist fundamentalist Republicans are calling for restructuring of the nation's judicial system, stripping states of the their constitutionally-appointed domain over state issues. That's exactly the sort of manipulation the founding fathers sought to abolish by clearly deliniating the reserved powers of the states. What ever happend to the Reagan-era movement toward devolution of powers to the state? Did conservatives forget about that edict from their self-apponted god? What ever happened to the greatest document crafted in modern politics: the United States constitution?

Republicans and extremists conservatives will stop at nothing to adavance their agenda. Destroying families, splattering a family's pain all over the news and rejecting the rule of law are all perfectly legitimate recourses if law stands in the way of their desires. Remember, Republicans USED to argue that government had no role in private lives and that states held reserved powers untouchable by the federal government. No more. The era of true conservatives is long over; now we see religious zealots disguised as conservatives. They will stop at nothing to ensure that their worldview is imposed upon every citizen of this country and those of other countries.

The most disgusting thing I've heard about this whole Schiavo case was a statement made by the illustrious House Majority Leader, Republican Tom DeLay of the perpetually fucked-up state of Texas, on Fox News. When asked how he felt about the situation he gave the standard speach about how life is sacred and that liberals are trying to exerminate the disabled and the elderly. Mind you, Terri Schiavo wasn't elderly and she wasn't disabled. A CAT scan showed that only about 15% of her brain was even alive, with huge holes of dead brain matter filling the image - hardly enough to constitute the life she desired. When asked if he would support allowing Mrs. Schiavo to die if she had AN EXPLICITLY WORDED LIVING WILL specifing that she would wish to die if in a persistant vegetative state, he said that he would not. What the hell is up with that? I'll tell you: fanatical fundamentalist conservatives are hell-bent on controlling every moment of your life from conception to death only as they see fit. How's that for small government and personal freedom? Are all living wills going to be rejected by fanatical fundamentalists who reject the notion of personal dominion over one's body? Does the individual have no right to self-determination?

My grandmother, a woman who raised me until I was 13 years old, died last weekend. My mother and I had to make the decision to turn off the life support machines and allow her to end her suffering. She was unconcious, suffering multiple end-organ failure and unable to breathe on her own. She specified that she did not want to remain in such a state. Does government have any role in that decision? NO! Does the Constitution specify that government has a role in that decision? NO. Should government exacerbate the pain experienced by my family during our time of greatest grief? NO. Does Tom DeLay have any power or moral right to tell my grandmother and her family what to do? NO!

Conservatives, remember where you came from. Not so long ago you believed in keeping government out of private lives. You believed in small government. You believed in states' rights. You believed in separation of powers. What happened to all that...did the law, the courts, the referenda, the state legislatures and the Constitution get in your way?

Shame on you.

Re: Disabling Comments and Reducto
03.19.05 (9:44 pm)   [edit]
Reducto, aka James "Jumbo" Yerian,

First, Mrs. Schaivo apparently told her husband that she would not want to remain in a persistant vegitative state. Should we annul all "Do Not Resuscitate" orders already signed? Should we outlaw physician-assisted euthanasia in the one state, Oregon, that approved it through a referendum? Mind you, you are the one who argues that referenda should determine same-sex marriage status rather than courts. What is it the right of courst or legislatures to intervene now? Care to clarify that hypocrisy?

But, my point really comes down to this quote, "And I would have just commented on Jesusisangry's moronic blog, but he has disabled comments." Jeez, Jumbo, you haven't blocked comments, have you? Care to address THAT hypocrisy, or does it escape you?

You never cease to amaze me and your hypocrisy only demonstrates how weak your arguments are.

Love (and God Bless Texas),


P.S. Are you ever going to get back to me regarding that asskicking you promised, or are you going to ignore it?

The Cost of Oil - Noguru Has No Clue
03.18.05 (11:38 am)   [edit]
Noguru's latest rant on oil prices is really one of the most intellectually pathetic arguments I've heard in a long while. First, Noguru doesn't understand market economies. He also doesn't seem to understand that more than a few countries produce oil, and they're not all in the Middle East.

Apparently Noguru thinks the oil producing nations set oil prices and are "holding the western economies hostage." I'm afraid to tell you, Noguru, but oil prices are determined by THE MARKET. Yes, in this odd thing called capitalism you have another odd thing called a "futures market." In a futures market, buyers of oil bid on future supplies. When they think supplies are going to be tight, the price increases as we have seen recently. This happens with any consumable, including corn, wheat, soybeans, bulk industrial chemicals and textiles.

Of course, you are going to say that the oil producing nations are restricting supply to drive up the price. Again, you are wrong. See, one of the major causes of the tight supply and ensuing price increases is due to increased demand for oil. You can blame the United States and China for that, seeing as how the two nations consume about as much oil as everyone else combined.

"So what?," you say. Well, the problem is that the oil producing nations are presently pumping within a few percentage points of full capacity. Although you won't understand this, you can't just drill another well and start pumping crude in a week's time. It is said that major infrustructure changes in the oil drilling systems of the world would take about five years to show impact on the market. Even if the United States started drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (refuge? sounds LIBRUL to me!), we wouldn't see that oil enter into the domestic market until about 2010. Get it?

Oh, and there's this other point. The oil under the ground of the oil producing states is THEIRS, not mine, not yours, THEIRS. The United States has resources that other countries need. When there is short supply and the price skyrockets, should other nations just invade and take it? Should the United States invade Canada to take the uranium ore that you have in abundance? Should we invade Russia because they have the world's largest reserves of titanium ore, which we need to build planes to kill Muslims? I'm pretty sure you will say no, at least regarding Canada, but that only demonstrates how pathetic your argument is.

You also assume that every nation that produces oil is Muslim and thus deserves the God-endorsed wrath of Dubbya. Should we invade Norway and take their oil, or are they exempt because they are white? What about Nigeria? Venezuela? Russia? The United States is the second largest producer of oil in the world, so should Canada invade Alaska and tell them damned libruls to hell with clean water and natural beauty? DRILL!!!

Oh, and I pity you for having to drive 80 miles a day. Why don't you do something smart like buy a Volkswagen Jetta TDI (49MPG), or a Honda Civic Hybrid (48MPG) or a Toyota Prius (50MPG)? No, you wouldn't do that because it is your GOD-GIVEN RIGHT to drive a truck that gets 11MPG, right? Why are you bitching about oil prices when the majority of the cost you pay in Kanada is tax? Talk to your own government before you start preaching from upon high about how Saudi Arabia's oil is actually AMERICAN oil (even though it belongs to Saudi Arabia).

You know, Francois, capitalism is a bitch. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. America has food, other countries have oil. You pay for what you want and need. Otherwise, you shut up, which I suggest you do before you stick your foot in your mouth again.

Noguru, you're a joke.



Noguru, like Reducto, Is a Coward
03.15.05 (8:57 pm)   [edit]
Despite Noguru's two month absence from tblog, he still holds me dear to his heart. In one of his latest blogs he cites me and whynot as reasons for disabling comments.

In other words, he's a coward and can't defend his own arguments.

But we already knew that much. Regardless of how damning the facts against his idiotic rants, Noguru could never be bothered to acknowledge a comment. Even when presented with overwhelming, documented and irrefutable proof, he would just pretend that nothing happened - or he would delete the offending comment lest he look like more of a fool. Instead of being the real man he professes to be, he would just go on and on about how he's jealous that he's not an American. I really feel sorry for him.

I've never disabled comments. I don't because I have enough backbone to defend what I say. If you can dish it out but can't be criticized that makes you an intellectual coward.

Noguru, you just typify everything about your country.


A Genuine U.S. Citizen

P.S. How are those submarines?

US Kidnaps and Tortures Civilians
02.11.05 (5:16 pm)   [edit]
This is one of the most disturbing and sickening articles I've read in a very long time. The sick irony is that the United States trumpets itself as a bastion of liberty, freedom, equality and justice. Whoever makes the decisions to kidnap and torture civilians should be brought to justice and dealt with just like we deal with war criminals and terrorists.

Read on...

From the New York Times

Torture, American Style

Published: February 11, 2005

Maher Arar is a 34-year-old native of Syria who emigrated to Canada as a teenager. On Sept. 26, 2002, as he was returning from a family vacation in Tunisia, he was seized by American authorities at Kennedy Airport in New York, where he was in the process of changing planes.

Mr. Arar, a Canadian citizen, was not charged with a crime. But, as Jane Mayer tells us in a compelling and deeply disturbing article in the current issue of The New Yorker, he "was placed in handcuffs and leg irons by plainclothes officials and transferred to an executive jet."

In an instant, Mr. Arar was swept into an increasingly common nightmare, courtesy of the United States of America. The plane that took off with him from Kennedy "flew to Washington, continued to Portland, Maine, stopped in Rome, Italy, then landed in Amman, Jordan."

Any rights Mr. Arar might have thought he had, either as a Canadian citizen or a human being, had been left behind. At times during the trip, Mr. Arar heard the pilots and crew identify themselves in radio communications as members of "the Special Removal Unit." He was being taken, on the orders of the U.S. government, to Syria, where he would be tortured.

The title of Ms. Mayer's article is "Outsourcing Torture." It's a detailed account of the frightening and extremely secretive U.S. program known as "extraordinary rendition."

This is one of the great euphemisms of our time. Extraordinary rendition is the name that's been given to the policy of seizing individuals without even the semblance of due process and sending them off to be interrogated by regimes known to practice torture. In terms of bad behavior, it stands side by side with contract killings.

Our henchmen in places like Syria, Egypt, Morocco, Uzbekistan and Jordan are torturing terror suspects at the behest of a nation - the United States - that just went through a national election in which the issue of moral values was supposed to have been decisive. How in the world did we become a country in which gays' getting married is considered an abomination, but torture is O.K.?

As Ms. Mayer pointed out: "Terrorism suspects in Europe, Africa, Asia and the Middle East have often been abducted by hooded or masked American agents, then forced onto a Gulfstream V jet, like the one described by Arar. ... Upon arriving in foreign countries, rendered suspects often vanish. Detainees are not provided with lawyers, and many families are not informed of their whereabouts."

Mr. Arar was seized because his name had turned up on a watch list of terror suspects. He was reported to have been a co-worker of a man in Canada whose brother was a suspected terrorist.

"Although he initially tried to assert his innocence, he eventually confessed to anything his tormentors wanted him to say," Ms. Mayer wrote.

The confession under torture was worthless. Syrian officials reported back to the United States that they could find no links between Mr. Arar and terrorism. He was released in October 2003 without ever being charged and is now back in Canada.

Barbara Olshansky is the assistant legal director of the Center for Constitutional Rights, which is representing Mr. Arar in a lawsuit against the U.S. I asked her to describe Mr. Arar's physical and emotional state following his release from custody.

She sounded shaken by the memory. "He's not a big guy," she said. "He had lost more than 40 pounds. His pallor was terrible, and his eyes were sunken. He looked like someone who was kind of dead inside."

Any government that commits, condones, promotes or fosters torture is a malignant force in the world. And those who refuse to raise their voices against something as clearly evil as torture are enablers, if not collaborators.

There is a widespread but mistaken notion in the U.S. that everybody seized by the government in its so-called war on terror is in fact somehow connected to terrorist activity. That is just wildly wrong.

Tony Blair knows a little about that sort of thing. Just two days ago the British prime minister formally apologized to 11 people who were wrongfully convicted and imprisoned for bombings in England by the Irish Republican Army three decades ago.

Jettisoning the rule of law to permit such acts of evil as kidnapping and torture is not a defensible policy for a civilized nation. It's wrong. And nothing good can come from it.


No, this is not an acceptable way of fighting terrorism. If you notice, this guy was thought to be a co-worker of someone with an allegedly terrorist brother. That's not a direct link to terrorism in any reasonable sense. Should we all fear being arrested due to the familial ties of our co-workers? Isn't this called "guilt by association?" Sounds like Third World despot justice to me, and the president holds ultimate responsibility for the policies of this country.

LynnKramer is Insane, and Reducto Isn't Back
01.31.05 (10:19 pm)   [edit]
I've recently discovered the pleasures of LynnKramer's nonsensical rants. I swear, this person takes a pile of words printed on index cards, dumps them on the floor and types whatever comes out. Seriously, I have a pretty wide vocabulary and above-average grasp of the language, but even with sixteen linguists and a Cray supercomputer at hand I can't even begin to make sense of what he/she/it writes.

This brings me to my next point. Lynn has been leaving some really remarkable 27,000 word essays as comments on my blog. Not that anyone alive could discern what he/she/it is trying to say if they had the time to read all of it. My favorite came from this blog today: http://www.tblog.com/templates/index.php?bid=jimmytherighteous&static=366299. The most hilarious thing I've ever read was the comment left by it that says, "And you say you're a Catholic? Wow, what and example you set."

WOW. It's pretty evident that this person is 1) certifiably retarded (and I mean chest-slapping and drool on the shirt) and 2) has NEVER once read a damn thing I've ever typed ever on tblog. Me a Catholic? Christ, I'm a full-blown heathen hellbound liberal atheist! Clearly Lynn, in a drug-induced stupor, has confused me with my idol, JAMES "JUMBO" YERIAN.

Which brings me to my final point. Scroll down through my posts and you'll see my chronicle of Yerian's flights from and returns to tblog. Much like the previous FOUR times, James is back on tblog, harassing genia (he only harasses women since he hates them) but he isn't back because he never left. See how that works?

Just thought I'd share.

P.S. James, I saw your brother Steve at Wal-Mart tonight (I was there drunk, eating babies, kicking old ladies and shoplifting adult diapers) and I noticed that he has swollen up to about 439 lbs. You know what they say, "The family that eats together gets really fucking fat together."

James Yerian: Dishing it Out, But Not Taking it In
01.25.05 (4:16 pm)   [edit]
James "Jumbo" Yerian strikes back with fury!!!!

Jimmy, after packing up and leaving for the FOURTH time, has sneakily showed up at tblog again. Could it be that his 2,837 blogs at blogspot have garnered some five comments? Methinks James is lonely, sitting on his computer chair/couch, nobody to share his Cheetos and Mountain Dew. Poor, poor James, maybe you'll have to write some shitty poetry along the lines of "Free Candy" to express your remorse. ;-)

Oh, so James has left a blog addressed to Genia. I noticed a few gems that I just can't let pass by:

1) "...since she can only dish it out and can't take it..."

Note that James has had comments on his blog restricted to only his devoted fan base, Noguru and Noguru alone for about a year now. Hypocrisy, anyone?

2) "...I have to resort to resurrecting my old blog one last time."

James, is that kind of like how you left, then came back, but didn't come back because you never left? You're only on your fourth self-imposed exile from tblog (and that one not-so-self-imposed one), so I'm starting to see a pattern here. Are you back, James?

3) "If she could only get her positions straight..."

WOW! This, coming from the master of hypocrisy and flip-flopping himself. James, do you remember how many times I utterly burned your ass by pointing out your rather clumsy contradictions and outright fabrications? Do you remember when you had to run to Rocky and your mom because I made you cry? People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, James. You should know that being the Catholic Armchair Warrior that you are.

Some things never change, like James' obesity, dim intellect and never-ending penchant for hypocrisy and contradiction. Things have been a little dull around here without James to make fun of and/or intellectually crush. Maybe he'll come back, without coming back because he never left, for a fifth time.

I'll have to make sure I'm drunk, as always, when that moment comes.



James Yerian's New Blog Complete Failure
12.22.04 (10:02 am)   [edit]
Goddamn, seems that James "Jumbo" Yerian didn't find the "adult friends" he was looking for when he TUCKED TAIL FOR THE FOURTH TIME and ran away to blogspot.

I did a quick "find all" ninja technique on his new blog and found that since he ran away from us back in October, James "Jumbo" Yerian has managed to get all of FIVE comments on his new blog. Out of the 200 or so entries he's made, that's not bad!!

Seems that the people over at blogspot are even less impressed with Jumbo's cut'n'paste madness and insane ramblings. Given that most people can read the news for themselves, who needs James "Jumbo" Yerian to cut'n'paste 27 news columns a day into his blog?

Jumbo, not only are you a failure academically, but also genetically, as a blogger and well, you're living in your parents' basement eating Cheetos. You fail at life. Miserably.

Love (and God Bless Texas),


James Strikes Back!!!
12.22.04 (9:53 am)   [edit]
I haven't checked out James Yerian's blog for quite a while, as I had given up hope that he would ever grace us with is presence at tblog again. I was devastated and had to turn to the bottle for solace.

Lo and behold, James "Jumbo" Yerian left a post not long ago and yours truly got a mention. I'm glad to see that James still fantasizes about me, although the thought is beyond revolting. Can you imagine what 375lbs of hairy man-beast looks like naked? Worse than Ron Jeremy, I'm sure. *GAG*

Anyhow, I loved this part: "Since PatriotACts and CheckItOut have disabled their comments...." James, YOU would NEVER disable comments, would you?!?!?! Wow, that just goes to show how amazingly stupid, dilusional or retarded (take your pick) Jumbo really is.

Oh, don't forget, I'm always drunk. ALWAYS. James would know because we're best friends and take communion together. Of course, I have a bad habit of washing my genitals in the holy water, but what would you expect from a morally-equivalent, leftist, America-hating drunk bastard like me?

By the way, James, how's that job at the gas station treating you?

God Bless Texas,


MAN vs. BEAST CHALLENGE. Come Get some, Yerian.
11.01.04 (10:00 pm)   [edit]

James Yerian, the resident 350lb slob, is talking shit again.  Imagine that!

Since Noguru has no mind of his own, James "Nationally Recognized Obese Poet" Yerian has been filling in for him, responding to my comments.  James claims that he offered to kick my ass but I "hid."  Of course, all you have to to is go to my archives and find the famous "Man versus Beast: The Jimmy Showdown" blog to see that we've already been through this once before.

And guess what happened then?  Despite my giving Jumbo not only my email address by also phone number, he NEVER CONTACTED ME!  Why am I not surprised?

To borrow some of James' finer lines, I think it's safe to say that he "squats when he pees" and that "he loves his big pussy."

James, I know you read my blog.  Let's this settle the matter once and for all.  You've already tucked tail and waddled away from tblog FOUR TIMES now.  You blocked comments because you can't defend your own cut'n'paste idiocy.  You even refused to take up the challenge you initiated.  In short, you're a fat bitch.  Now is your chance to show the world that you are the Catholic Armchair Warrior that you profess to be. 

C'mon, James, do it for the pope.  Do it for your obese brothers.  Do it for the illigitimate child of your sister.  Do it for your cart-boy father.  Do it for YOURSELF, James "Jumbo" Yerian.

Let Jumbo Yerian comment to this blog his preferred TIME AND PLACE.  I'll be there.  Should he decide to once again cower in fear of the Wrath o' Jimmytherighteous I think it's safe to say that Jumbo Yerian is the King Bitch of Tblog.

So, James, are you going to be the man you claim to be, or are you going to show your true colors -YELLOW- and run away AGAIN?

James Yerian Fails at New Blog
11.01.04 (7:29 am)   [edit]

I stopped by James Yerian/Reducto's new blog over at this link (http://conservapundit.blogspot.com/) to check things out.

Not surprisingly, it's ALL cut'n'paste madness.  Seriously, what is a blog if you don't ever write anything?  Hell, I could sit down and copy'n'paste the entire New York Times every day if I wanted to, but what's the point?

The point is that James doesn't have the intellectual capacity to actually formulate his own arguments then defend them.  Steal others' writings, then refuse to take comments on them.  That's the mark of true genius.

Oh, and the best part...  I scrolled through most, but not all, of James' blogs at his new place and I found NOT ONE comment left for him.  Maybe he's taken the manly route like he did on tblog and blocked all comments.

Just thought you'd enjoy the update ;-)

A Republican Case Against George W. Bush
10.29.04 (2:02 pm)   [edit]

You know, Republicans like to show off Zell Miller and his criticism of John Kerry.  Of course, they don't like to talk about members of their own party who can't stand George W. Bush.  This isn't surprising given the current attitude of the Republican Party and the fanaticals who call the shots.  According to White House insiders, Republicans who disagree with the party line are reviled even more than Democrats and referred to as "traitors."

Anyhow, take a look at this commentary from a long-time Republican and former US Senator.  I expect the usual suspects will label the author a communist, a European, a terrorist and whatever else they can come up with.

From the Louisville Courier-General:

Frightened to Death of George Bush

Thursday, October 28, 2004 - 11:46am - late morning

By Marlow W. Cook - a former Republican US Senator from Kentucky

I shall cast my vote for John Kerry come Nov 2.

I have been, and will continue to be, a Republican. But when we as a party send the wrong person to the White House, then it is our responsibility to send him home if our nation suffers as a result of his actions. I fall in the category of good conservative thinkers, like George F. Will, for instance, who wrote: “This administration cannot be trusted to govern if it cannot be counted on to think and having thought, to have second thoughts.”

I say, well done George Will, or, even better, from the mouth of the numero uno of conservatives, William F. Buckley Jr.: “If I knew then what I know now about what kind of situation we would be in, I would have opposed the war.”

First, let’s talk about George Bush’s moral standards.

In 2000, to defeat Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz. — a man who was shot down in Vietnam and imprisoned for over five years — they used Carl Rove’s “East Texas special.” They started the rumor that he was gay, saying he had spent too much time in the Hanoi Hilton. They said he was crazy. They said his wife was on drugs. Then, to top it off, they spread pictures of his adopted daughter, who was born in Bangladesh and thus dark skinned, to the sons and daughters of the Confederacy in rural South Carolina.

To show he was not just picking on Republicans, he went after Sen. Max Cleland from Georgia, a Democrat seeking re-election. Bush henchmen said he wasn’t patriotic because Cleland did not agree 100 percent on how to handle homeland security. They published his picture along with Cuba’s Castro, questioning Cleland’s patriotism and commitment to America’s security. Never mind that his Republican challenger was a Vietnam deferment case and Cleland, who had served in Vietnam, came home in a wheel chair having lost three limbs fighting for his country. Anyone who wants to win an election and control of the legislative body that badly has no moral character at all.

We know his father got him in the Texas Air National Guard so he would not have to go to Vietnam. The religious right can have him with those moral standards. We also have Vice President Dick Cheney, who deferred his way out of Vietnam because, as he says, he “had more important things to do.”

I have just turned 78. During my lifetime, we have sent 31,377,741 Americans to war, not including whatever will be the final figures for the Iraq fiasco. Of those, 502,722 died and 928,980 came home without legs, arms or what have you.

Those wars were to defend freedom throughout the free world from communism, dictators and tyrants. Now Americans are the aggressors — we start the wars, we blow up all the infrastructure in those countries, and then turn around and spend tax dollars denying our nation an excellent education system, medical and drug programs, and the list goes on. …

I hope you all have noticed the Bush administration’s style in the campaign so far. All negative, trashing Sen. John Kerry, Sen. John Edwards and Democrats in general. Not once have they said what they have done right, what they have done wrong or what they have not done at all.

Lyndon Johnson said America could have guns and butter at the same time. This administration says you can have guns, butter and no taxes at the same time. God help us if we are not smart enough to know that is wrong, and we live by it to our peril. We in this nation have a serious problem. Its almost worse than terrorism: We are broke. Our government is borrowing a billion dollars a day. They are now borrowing from the government pension program, for apparently they have gotten as much out of the Social Security Trust as it can take. Our House and Senate announce weekly grants for every kind of favorite local programs to save legislative seats, and it’s all borrowed money.

If you listened to the President confirming the value of our war with Iraq, you heard him say, “If no weapons of mass destruction were found, at least we know we have stopped his future distribution of same to terrorists.” If that is his justification, then, if he is re-elected our next war will be against Iran and at the same time North Korea, for indeed they have weapons of mass destruction, nuclear weapons, which they have readily admitted. Those wars will require a draft of men and women. …

I am not enamored with John Kerry, but I am frightened to death of George Bush. I fear a secret government. I abhor a government that refuses to supply the Congress with requested information. I am against a government that refuses to tell the country with whom the leaders of our country sat down and determined our energy policy, and to prove how much they want to keep that secret, they took it all the way to the Supreme Court.

Those of you who are fiscal conservatives and abhor our staggering debt, tell your conservative friends, “Vote for Kerry,” because without Bush to control the Congress, the first thing lawmakers will demand Kerry do is balance the budget.

The wonderful thing about this country is its gift of citizenship, then it’s freedom to register as one sees fit. For me, as a Republican, I feel that when my party gives me a dangerous leader who flouts the truth, takes the country into an undeclared war and then adds a war on terrorism to it without debate by the Congress, we have a duty to rid ourselves of those who are taking our country on a perilous ride in the wrong direction.

If we are indeed the party of Lincoln (I paraphrase his words), a president who deems to have the right to declare war at will without the consent of the Congress is a president who far exceeds his power under our Constitution.

I will take John Kerry for four years to put our country on the right path.

The writer, a Republican formerly of Louisville, was Jefferson County judge from 1962-1968 and U.S. senator from Kentucky from 1968-1975.

Is the National Debt a Problem? YES!
10.14.04 (2:18 am)   [edit]

Deshanews says that the current federal budget deficit, running at about $450 billion a year, isn't really a problem.

Well, yeah it is.

See, the annual budget deficit makes our national debt even bigger.  Currently our national debt stands at


That's SEVEN and a HALF TRILLION dollars.

So, what's so bad about that?  Dick Cheney says that national debts don't matter, right?

Here's what's wrong with having a huge national debt that is growing by $450 billion a year...

Last year, the US federal government spent


on interest payments alone.  $321 billion on interest.  Not highways, not schools, not bombers, nothing but interest payments.  That's right, we spent 15% of our total federal budget on interest payments that we have absolutely nothing to show for.

So, for every man, woman and child in the United States, about 290 million of us, we paid


Mind you, not all 294 million of us pay taxes, so you can see that your share was a lot more.

So, Deshanews, Noguru and Reducto/Jumbo Yerian, does the federal budget deficit and resultant federal debt matter?

Yes it does.

All data from the US Bureau of the Public Debt (http://www.publicdebt.treas.gov/) and the US Bureau of the Census (http://www.census.gov/).

The Gospel According to James Yerian, Catholic Armchair Warrior
10.13.04 (1:46 am)   [edit]

This comment was left on my tribute blog to James' FOURTH departure.  Even at my best I couldn't equal this.


» James Yerian, Catholic Armchair Warrior [outside user]

Foolish Commies--I didn't run away! I will be here always, tormenting you with my hideous visage! Behold the scowl! Behold the receding hairline! Stare in horror at THE MOLE.

The Book of James (Yerian) Clearly stipulates that retreat is not an option, and Flip Flopping is something only liberal commie pinkos do:

"The Hypocrisy" Psalm 1, Verse 1-0-1-0-1-0-1-0

"Didst James leave tBlog forever, only to remain. Verily, much like Cheetos stains, his presence could never truly be removed. Upon returning, James found things as he had left them--his blogs mostly cut and paste, his comments box void of positive feedback. Then the Unholy Triumvirate of Matthew, Dragonbait, RedTigress and Whoisjohngalt (tremble in awe of James' math skills!) did break from their alcoholic perveted orgy and return to reign humiliation upon James for his infinite foibles. James did flee like the coward he claims others are!

Yet, James did slowly trickle back into tBlog, like the dribble of Mountain Dew making its way down his multiple chins. Upon return, James did blog "I'm not back, bitches!" Beatdowns did most certainly ensue.

"Damn you all!!! God Damn you all!!!" James impolored. "You are all cursed to an eternity in Free Candy Land!"

The masses quivered in terror of James' display of power. Then, as if the Hand of Beeson himself swept out of the sky, did James and his blog disappear.

It wasn't until eons (defined as two weeks) later James returned, this time wisely covering his True Identity. "Hi, I'm Reducto, and I'd like to link to this VERY INFORMATIVE BLOG." The ruse, James knew, would work flawlessly. Thus did James travel amongst the peasants as one of them forever more.

Then, as by some divine intervention James' cover t'was blown--had the Utopians followed the trail of Cheetos back to him?!? "Huwah! I must go to my other blog, where 'many more' people will read what I've cut-and-pasted from Powerline blog!" James cried. "I'm so smart, you all are arrogant SOBs. And girls." And with those words, James did disappear forever. Again."

Amen, and Pass the Cheetos.

Yerian Tucks Tail, Waddles from Tblog
10.12.04 (10:25 pm)   [edit]

Loyal Flock,

It looks like James Yerian, aka Reducto, has left tblog for the FOURTH time in a year.  Ok, I'll give him credit, that one time wasn't exactly voluntary ;-)

Let's review the history:

1) James left tblog.  (10/29/03)  "I'm retiring from blogging." (http://www.tblog.com/templates/index.php?bid=JamesYerian&static=23983)

2) James returned to tblog, but claimed he never really left (11/07/03)  "This isn't a new blog."  (http://www.tblog.com/templates/index.php?bid=JamesYerian&static=27096)

3) James left tblog again. (1/02/04)  "I remembered that I'm an adult."  (http://www.tblog.com/templates/index.php?bid=JamesYerian&static=57233)

4) James returned to tblog, but claimed he never really left, AGAIN.  (1/17/04) "I'm not back. I merely had to comment."  (http://www.tblog.com/templates/index.php?bid=JamesYerian&static=67145)

5) James' old blog got shut down. (2/15/04)  (http://www.tblog.com/templates/index.php?bid=JamesYerian&static=93390)

6) James returned to tblog as Reducto and pretended like nothing happened. (3/01/04)  (http://www.tblog.com/templates/index.php?bid=reducto&static=108120)

7) James left tblog AGAIN. (10/12/04)  (http://www.tblog.com/templates/index.php?bid=reducto&static=310299)

Wow.  That's quite a history of FLIP-FLOPPING, if I do say so myself.  I'm not even sure Satan Spawn Kerry could outdo him.

Before y'all break out the Cuban cigars and light 'em up in celebration of James' latest fit, review your history.  I give James 7-10 days and he'll be back.  Maybe not as Reducto, but he'll be back.

For a good time, look at the official James Yerian Temper Tantrum betting pool from Departure Number 2 (http://www.tblog.com/templates/index.php?bid=whoisjohngalt&static=66971).

Noguru, you're next.  You can run, but you can't hide, boy!

James Yerian - Mole Man
10.10.04 (6:02 pm)   [edit]
James is once again beating up on Angie Kruger, the same tblogger he can't help but stalk. That's the closest James has ever gotten to attention from a female, and I wouldn't call it positive attention.

From one of James' latest blogs, he calls me "fugly drinker and all-star loser." Isn't that cute? Wow, James, did you learn that from your 10 year old nephew?

Yes, I drink. Am I an alcoholic? No, of course not. Remember, James is an all-star Catholic and he's as pure as a driven snow. James only gets drunk on communion wine, but that's different. Never mind those various mortal sins James comitts on a daily basis - sloth, envy, anger and gluttony to start with.

Loser? James, just because you're 30, living at home, working at a gas station and unable to get laid does not give you license to project your own miserable life onto others. Sorry, but I've got a hell of a lot better job than you, I write better than you (and I'm not even the "Nationally Recognized Poet"), I look better than you (see below) and I routinely destroy your blogs. You lose.

Fugly? I have one thing to say: MOLE.

And, yes, you do look suspiciously like Comic Book Guy.

James, you're just too easy.

P.S. James actually grew a pair, for a couple of days, and allowed anonymous users to comment on his blogs. Of course, that ended quickly. Mind you, James Yerian, aka Reducto, blocks anyone from his blog who disagrees with him. I don't. Whoisjohngalt doesn't. Now James, to quote you, who loves his "big pussy?" (You can find that one at jamesyerian.tblog.com, 2/15/04.)

10.07.04 (7:40 pm)   [edit]

I just got a copy of the James Yerian/Reducto/Noguru "Tblog Political Template."  I'm testing it out here in order to report something that I did actually find on the internet.  No, James, I'm not drunk.

Here we go...


I just knew it, folks...  Secret Agents from the Kerry campaign, disguised as nuns from the Sisters of the Covenant of Pain and Suffering, have infiltrated media outlets in order to manipulate and hide the true results of the Novermber 2004 presidential election!!!!  [Add more blowhard screaming with over-the-top descriptors like "nationally recognized" and "exclusive"].

From my EXCLUSIVE, highly-respected news source, Boing Boing, I bring you this shocking, gut-wrenching article:


Thursday, October 7, 2004

TV station reports that Bush has been elected President
WBAY TV in Green Bay, Wisconsin is running an AP article reporting that Bush has won the election, weeks before the election is to take place.

At this hour, President Bush has won re-election as president by a 47 percent to 43 percent margin in the popular vote nationwide. Ralph Nader has 1 percent of the vote nationwide. That's with 51 percent of the precincts reporting.

(source: [link])


Folks, I feel like I've been violated with a shoehorn whilst having snuff juice squirted directly onto my eyeball.  Why aren't respected media outlets like NewsMAX and WorldNetDaily covering this heinous attempt to subvert our HAND-MADE BY GOD HIMSELF democracy?  [Insert totally fabricated numbers, only to be completely destroyed later by jimmytherighteous].  I'm sure that America-hating liberals, backed by their deities Pol Pot and Josef Stalin, are behind this smear campaign aimed at discrediting His Holiness George Dubbya Bush!!!  [Lots more random underlining, point size changes and bolding].

Them damned libruls, by definition, Hate America and canned Spam meat.  [Yes!!  Jesus Loves me!!!]  The ends justify the means!  [Insert something about moral equivalency here].  You know that Jane Fonda put up the money for this, just like she did to when she was feeding dead babies to them reds over in VEE ET NAM!  George Soros.  WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!!  [Insert something about UN and European corruption].

See, you can never trust the lefties.  They created propaganda and foie gras and they, by definition, HAVE TO LIE because they are EVIL SPIRITS.  [Neglect to offer any documentation].

 God Bless Texas and Our Lord and Savior, Dubbya.

[Conclude with some third-grade photoshop work by Noguru.]

10.04.04 (5:47 pm)   [edit]

Hi all,

Hope you liked the headline.  I bet James Yerian, aka Reducto, sure does.

Now, if you read my blog you know that I enjoy refuting James' lies, along with those of his sidekick, Noguru.  Anyone who has been using tblog for more than three days knows that James isn't quite right in the head and he's really been proving that recently by attacking a new tblogger who did nothing, as usual, to provoke this kind of rage.

If you'd like to see for yourself, go to (http://angiekruger.tblog.com).

I'd like to point out that James, who always questions the masculinity of his critics, has blocked me and others from commenting on his blog.  Go figure.

Oh, some other things...

In James' blog titled "Another blonde moment for Angie Kruger," found here (http://www.tblog.com/templates/index.php?bid=reducto&static=303741), he shows off just how dim he really is.  First and foremost, Angie never attacked James, however James finds it necessary to make third-grade comments like "blonde moment."  Also, James  has been harassing this tblog user and continues to do so even after being told not to some six times.  Do you see something wrong with that?  I do, as do other SANE people.

Back to his blog...  James likes to throw out this supposed fact that the value of the Iraqi dinar has increased from 82,000 per US dollar to 40 per US dollar.  Of course, James also thinks that he knows economics and states that this change in value is "proof" of a recovering Iraqi economy.  Poor, poor James. 

Whew, this should be fun...  First, how James' numbers are determined is of great mystery given that the Iraqi dinar is not traded on any exchanges, nor is its value listed by any banks.  Oddly enough, his undocumented information is quite different from that listed in my DOCUMENTED SOURCES.  Information found here (http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/world/iraq/currency-reform.htm) shows that the Iraqi dinar before the first Gulf War was valued at US$3.20 - that's 3.2x the value of the dollar per unit.  Not quite the same as 82,000 per dollar, but what is an order of magnitude or two?  Furthermore, the lowest value of the old dinar was around 3,500 per US dollar when US troops entered Baghdad (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/3400565.stm).  The present value of the Dinar is impossible to pinpoint since it is not traded outside Iraq (as per the currency reform measures implemented by the Provisional Authority), but it seems that the last official value, set July 20, is 1,461 per US dollar (http://finance.yahoo.com/currency/convert?amt=1&from=USD&to=IQD&submit=Convert).  Again, not exactly close to 40, but James has never been particularly good with facts.

Moving on, James is talking out his ass because the value of one currency relative to another is not a reflection of economic performance.  See, the relationship between values of currencies is defined as "the theoretical representation of the exchange market as either the interaction of supply and demand arising from exchange-market transactions or as an asset market equilibrium between currencies."  That has nothing whatsoever to do with the performance of an economy.  Case in point: the British Pound Sterling is currently worth US$1.78 (http://finance.yahoo.com/currency/convert?amt=1&from=GBP&to=USD&submit=Convert).  Is the British economy stronger than our own?  No.  Also, remember that the value of a currency is directly proportional to how much of said currency is in circulation.  The old Iraqi dinar was removed from circulation and replaced with new currency.  The simple fact of the matter is that there are less new dinars in circulation than there were old dinars, thus the currency, per unit, is more valuable.

Can you understand any of that, James?

One more point...  James likes to trumpet the glory of the "coalition of the willing" in Iraq.  We've already seen Spanish troops leave, then Fillipino, now it looks like Poland is leaving soon (http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/meast/10/04/iraq.polandtroops/index.html).  Mind you, Poland is the third largest contributor of troops to the coalition and they are charged with running the south-central sector of Iraq.  Now that they are leaving, who is going to fill the void?  Yes, James, everything in Iraq is just peachy.

"The Passion of the Bush" released on DVD
10.03.04 (2:00 pm)   [edit]

This has to be one of the best articles I've read in a long time.  I'm sure this one is going to throw Yerian into an absolute frenzy, but then again, he is part of the fanatical religious right that "Faith in the White House" is designed for.  I bet he has already ordered his DVD copy.

From the New York Times, that bastion of ungodly, amoral United Nations/French/Canadian balanced and insightful writing...


Now on DVD: The Passion of the Bush

Published: October 3, 2004

You can run but you can't hide: Oct. 5 will bring the perfect storm in this year's culture wars. It's on that strategically chosen date, four Tuesdays before the election, that the DVD of "Fahrenheit 9/11" will be released along with not one but two new Michael Moore books. It's also the release date of the equally self-effacing Ann Coulter's latest rant, of a new DVD documentary, "Horns and Halos," that revisits the Bush mystery year of 1972, and of an R.E.M. album, "Around the Sun," that gets in its own political licks at the state of the nation.

When Dick Cheney and John Edwards debate in Cleveland that night, Bruce Springsteen will be barnstorming in another swing state, as the Vote for Change tour hits St. Paul. All that's needed to make the day complete is a smackdown between Kinky Friedman and Teresa Heinz Kerry on "Imus in the Morning."

Of the many cultural grenades being tossed that day, though, the one must-see is "George W. Bush: Faith in the White House," a DVD that is being specifically marketed in "head to head" partisan opposition to "Fahrenheit 9/11." This documentary first surfaced at the Republican convention in New York, where it was previewed in tandem with an invitation-only, no-press-allowed "Family, Faith and Freedom Rally," a Ralph Reed-Sam Brownback jamboree thrown by the Bush campaign for Christian conservatives. Though you can buy the DVD for $14.95, its makers told the right-wing news service WorldNetDaily.com that they plan to distribute 300,000 copies to America's churches. And no wonder. This movie aspires to be "The Passion of the Bush," and it succeeds.

More than any other campaign artifact, it clarifies the hard-knuckles rationale of the president's vote-for-me-or-face-Armageddon re-election message. It transforms the president that the Democrats deride as a "fortunate son" of privilege into a prodigal son with the "moral clarity of an old-fashioned biblical prophet." Its Bush is not merely a sincere man of faith but God's essential and irreplaceable warrior on Earth. The stations of his cross are burnished into cinematic fable: the misspent youth, the hard drinking (a thirst that came from "a throat full of Texas dust"), the fateful 40th-birthday hangover in Colorado Springs, the walk on the beach with Billy Graham. A towheaded child actor bathed in the golden light of an off-camera halo re-enacts the young George comforting his mom after the death of his sister; it's a parable anticipating the future president's miraculous ability to comfort us all after 9/11. An older Bush impersonator is seen rebuffing a sexual come-on from a fellow Bush-Quayle campaign worker hovering by a Xerox machine in 1988; it's an effort to imbue our born-again savior with retroactive chastity. As for the actual president, he is shown with a flag for a backdrop in a split-screen tableau with Jesus. The message isn't subtle: they were separated at birth.

"Faith in the White House" purports to be the product of "independent research," uncoordinated with the Bush-Cheney campaign. But many of its talking heads are official or unofficial administration associates or sycophants. They include the evangelical leader and presidential confidant Ted Haggard (who is also one of Mel Gibson's most fervent P.R. men) and Deal Hudson, an adviser to the Bush-Cheney campaign until August, when he resigned following The National Catholic Reporter's investigation of accusations that he sexually harassed an 18-year-old Fordham student in the 1990's. As for the documentary's "research," a film positioning itself as a scrupulously factual "alternative" to "Fahrenheit 9/11" should not inflate Mr. Bush's early business "success" with Arbusto Energy (an outright bust for most of its investors) or the number of children he's had vaccinated in Iraq ("more than 22 million," the movie claims, in a country whose total population is 25 million).

"Will George W. Bush be allowed to finish the battle against the forces of evil that threaten our very existence?" Such is the portentous question posed at the film's conclusion by its narrator, the religious broadcaster Janet Parshall, beloved by some for her ecumenical generosity in inviting Jews for Jesus onto her radio show during the High Holidays. Anyone who stands in the way of Mr. Bush completing his godly battle, of course, is a heretic. Facts on the ground in Iraq don't matter. Rational arguments mustered in presidential debates don't matter. Logic of any kind is a nonstarter. The president - who after 9/11 called the war on terrorism a "crusade," until protests forced the White House to backpedal - is divine. He may not hear "voices" instructing him on policy, testifies Stephen Mansfield, the author of one of the movie's source texts, "The Faith of George W. Bush," but he does act on "promptings" from God. "I think we went into Iraq not so much because there were weapons of mass destruction," Mr. Mansfield has explained elsewhere, "but because Bush had concluded that Saddam Hussein was an evildoer" in the battle "between good and evil." So why didn't we go into those other countries in the axis of evil, North Korea or Iran? Never mind. To ask such questions is to be against God and "with the terrorists."

The propagandists of "Faith in the White House" argue, as others have, that the president's invocation of religion in the public sphere, from his citation of Jesus as his favorite "political philosopher" to his incessant invocation of the Almighty in talking about how everything is coming up roses in Iraq, is consistent with the civic spirituality practiced by his antecedents, from the founding fathers to Bill Clinton. It's not. Past presidents have rarely, if ever, claimed such godlike infallibility. Mr. Bush never admits to making a mistake; even his premature "Mission Accomplished" victory lap wasn't in error, as he recently told Bill O'Reilly. After all, if you believe "God wants me to be president" - a quote attributed to Mr. Bush by the Rev. Richard Land of the Southern Baptist Convention - it's a given that you are incapable of making mistakes. Those who say you have are by definition committing blasphemy. A God-appointed leader even has the power to rewrite His texts. Jim Wallis, the liberal evangelical author, has pointed out Mr. Bush's habit of rejiggering specific scriptural citations so that, say, the light shining into the darkness is no longer God's light but America's and, by inference, the president's own.

It's not just Mr. Bush's self-deification that separates him from the likes of Lincoln, however; it's his chosen fashion of Christianity. The president didn't revive the word "crusade" idly in the fall of 2001. His view of faith as a Manichaean scheme of blacks and whites to be acted out in a perpetual war against evil is synergistic with the violent poetics of the best-selling "Left Behind" novels by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins and Mel Gibson's cinematic bloodfest. The majority of Christian Americans may not agree with this apocalyptic worldview, but there's a big market for it. A Newsweek poll shows that 17 percent of Americans expect the world to end in their lifetime. To Karl Rove and company, that 17 percent is otherwise known as "the base."

The pandering to that base has become familiar in countless administration policies, starting with its antipathy to stem-cell research, abortion, condoms for H.I.V. prevention and gay civil rights. But ever since Mr. Bush's genuflection to Bob Jones University threatened to shoo away moderates in 2000, the Rove ruse is to try to keep the most militant and sectarian tactics of the Bush religious program under the radar. (Mr. Rove even tried to deny that the wooden lectern at the Republican convention was a pulpit embedded with a cross, as if a nation of eyewitnesses could all be mistaken.) The re-election juggernaut has not only rounded up the membership rosters of churches en masse but quietly mounted official Web sites like kerrywrongforcatholics.com as well. (Evangelicals and Mormons have their own Web variants on this same theme, but not the Jews, who are apparently getting in Kerry just what they deserve.) Even the contraband C-word is being revived out of sight of most of the press: Marc Racicot, the Bush-Cheney campaign chairman, lobbed a direct-mail fund-raising letter in March describing Mr. Bush as "leading a global crusade against terrorism."

In this spring's classic "South Park" parody, "The Passion of the Jew," in which Mr. Gibson's movie tosses the community into a religious war, one of the kids concludes: "If you want to be Christian, that's cool, but you should focus on what Jesus taught instead of how he got killed. Focusing on how he got killed is what people did in the Dark Ages, and it ends up with really bad results." He has a point. It's far from clear that Mr. Bush's eschatology and his religious vanity are leading to good results now. The all-seeing president who could pronounce Vladimir Putin saintly by looking into his "soul" is now refusing to acknowledge that the reverse may be true. The general in charge of tracking down Osama bin Laden, William G. Boykin, has earned cheers in some quarters for giving speeches at churches proclaiming that Mr. Bush is "in the White House because God put him there" to lead the "army of God" against "a guy named Satan." But all that preaching didn't get his day job done; he hasn't snared the guy named Osama he was supposed to bring back "dead or alive."

"George W. Bush: Faith in the White House" must be seen because it shows how someone like General Boykin can stay in his job even in failure and why Mr. Bush feels divinely entitled to keep his job even as we stand on the cusp of an abyss in Iraq. In this pious but not humble worldview, faith, or at least a certain brand of it, counts more than competence, and a biblical mission, or at least a simplistic, blunderbuss facsimile of one, counts more than the secular goal of waging an effective, focused battle against an enemy as elusive and cunning as terrorists. That no one in this documentary, including its hero, acknowledges any constitutional boundaries between church and state is hardly a surprise. To them, America is a "Christian nation," period, with no need even for the fig-leaf prefix of "Judeo-."

Far more startling is the inability of a president or his acolytes to acknowledge any boundary that might separate Mr. Bush's flawed actions battling "against the forces of evil" from the righteous dictates of God. What that level of hubris might bring in a second term is left to the imagination, and "Faith in the White House" gives the imagination room to run riot about what a 21st-century crusade might look like in the flesh. A documentary conceived as a rebuke to "Fahrenheit 9/11" is nothing if not its unintentional and considerably more nightmarish sequel.


Damn!  I'd like to see this guy and Ann Coulter, Queen of Darkness, duke it out in a debate.  You know, just out of curiosity I really want to see "The Passion of the Bush."  Maybe if I ask nicely, and bring some Cheetos, Yerian and I can watch it together!